I'm here, I'm moved in, I'm a... grown up?

I'm in Nashville! 

I officially moved in on Monday. After spending the weekend watching my sister graduate and having an awesome party with all of our family and friends, it was one of the hardest things I've ever done to get up Sunday morning and get in the car to move. I pulled out of my driveway with tears streaming down my face that lasted until Baltimore. I will miss beautiful Pennsylvania and home-y Chester County so much, but now that I'm here, a few days into what I think will be a great job and am starting to learn my way around, I can't help but feel that this change is natural and good.

The reason I moved here was for my job, so thankfully it's one that I think I'll really like. The people I work with seem great and I'm excited to get to learn how to do my job and do it well. I'm looking forward to the day when all of a sudden I realize "wait, I know how to do this..."

Nashville itself still remains a bit of a mystery to me. I've seen it a lot because of my lost adventures, that is -- trying to go to a coffee shop and taking the wrong road and going downtown; trying to find a target and taking the wrong road and going downtown; looking for the farmer's market and taking a wrong road and going downtown... and lastly, trying to find my office and taking a wrong road and going downtown.Like with my job, I'm looking forward to getting to the point where I can say "I know this."

Familiarity is something I didn't realize I took for granted. It's a hard thing when you don't know where you are.

It's also weird not knowing all the fun quirks and good spots around town. Both in Chester County and in State College, I knew where the best place to get coffee was, what hours I should avoid going to Irving's bagels and the best spot in town to get breakfast. My boss has mentioned lots of fun places to go, and all the while I keep thinking "ahhhhhhh! I want to know about all of this stuff!" There's lots of local dives I want to explore. I love you 'bucks and dunkin, but this whole 'chain' thing doesn't always fit my mood.

The good news? I'm here for a while baby. And I've got all the time I need to explore this place inside and out.

So far I can only get 3 places without directions 1. my office 2. starbucks 3. target. But really, where else would I ever need to go besides my beloved bucks and target

Tomorrow I'm checking out the Nashville Farmer's Market. I tried to do it Thursday afternoon and failed miserably. I thought I was almost there and I realized I was almost at my apartment -- they're about 20 minutes away from each other. At least I'm consistent.

I'll leave you with the top 5 things I've learned about relocating so far. And when you're done reading them, sit on your porch, watch the fireflys and enjoy the last fleeting days of June.

1. Virginia is a huge state.

You admire the beautiful rolling hills, pretty mountains, then 6 hours later you're cursing that your still driving through that freaking state

2. No reservations? That'll be an extra $75-100

It's sounds adventerous to not make reservations at a hotel and just drive till you can't then pull over and get a room, but as was learned in Knoxville, TN, that'll cost you top dollar for the room. 

3. McDonald's really is the biggest chain ever

No explantion. One about every 2-4 exits for 800 miles. 

4. In most states but PA, there is a carpool lane

And it's fun to stare judgingly at those driving in it by themselves

5. Southern Interstates are clean and smooth

No gaping potholes every mile and running over fast food bags is something my car is excited about

& finally, 
This song was made for this post.

see ya later northeast

I GOT A JOB. 

stop re-reading and rubbing your eyes, it's true! I can't believe it, I am so blessed beyond belief. I got a real grown-up job. 

Oh and one other thing.. 

It's in Nashville, Tennessee!

I know that in my core I am so excited about this, but as soon as I accepted the job dozens of fears started creeping into my head. I'm fearful about being inadequate in my job, about not making friends, about getting lost every time I leave my apartment... oh and there's that whole 'moving to a new city in a different part of the country by myself' thing. The fears exist, but I know that this job is exactly where God wants me, and I can't wait to get started and make Nashville 'my city.' A city I can take pride in, a city where I call home.

My heart will always beat in Philly, and it's weird to think that I'm moving to a place where people could care less about the Phillies, don't regularly eat cheesesteaks, and don't get hyped up when the fresh prince says 'innnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn west philadelphia, born and raised.'

But as I leave my western philadelphia suburb, I know that this will be good. I know that I can and will be happy there. I know that is a life-changing opportunity.

And one other thing.. I leave in 2 weeks. 

In the next 2 weeks I have to 1. buy a car 2. move out of my penn state apartment 3. go to my roommates wedding 4. go to nashville and find a place to live 5. come back from nashville to pack up (see three posts ago... I JUST made my room look perfect and finished unpacking, go figure) 6. attend my sister's graduation 7. have our dual graduation party 8. go back to nashville 9. start a real-person job.

Yikes.

But, it'll get done. If I want this job, I'll get it done..... with extreme help from and dependence on my wonderful parents of course.

But for now, I'm at the beach for the long, beautiful memorial day weekend (eating all the seafood I can and staring at the ocean... nashville is an appalling distance from the coast) and enjoying this time with my family. We're relaxing and taking it slow until tuesday morning.

and occasionally jumping up and down yelling

"I'M MOVING TO NASHVILLE!"

 

so.... which building does taylor swift live in?

21 photo frames.

Yes, I have 21 photo frames, about 15 of them haven't had the picture changed since 8th grade. Who knew that down-sizing photo frames would be the most daunting task of moving back into my room permanently?

Look at this mess, come on, you're jealous.

 

Even though I'm moving back into a room for potentially a long time, I can't help but dread packing and un-packing. For the last 4 years, I have packed up and un-packed my life. I've moved plastic bins filled with clothes, books, dvds, picture frames and anything else you can imagine in and out of 2 dorm rooms, in and out of a summer beach house, in and out of 2 apartments, in and out of my parents home time and time again. Any college student reading this feels my pain. 

It's not the act of packing that frustrates me, it's the fact that it brings out the worst in me. I never procrastinate more than when I need to pack and un-pack. I'm not talking vacation suitcases and weekend bag packing, but the moving to a new place  kind of packing. I look over old journals, read old notes and really do anything from keeping me to do the dreaded task.

Actually, I just realized that while this huge mess is in front of me, I'm sitting in front of it blogging about it instead of actually doing it. Case and point.

But maybe it's not the physical act of packing that makes this necessary chore such a difficult thing for me, and many others, to complete. Maybe it's that little piece inside everyone that resists change with everything in them.

I can't say this as 'matter of fact,' because I've never moved out of any place that I was desperately looking forward to moving out of. Every time I've moved, I've been happy, I've been content, I didn't need things to change. I've been forced to move because of school starting and ending, but if Penn State didn't make me move out of my dorm freshman year, I'd say there's a chance I'd still be living in Tener Hall with Pam. I loved freshman year of college, I didn't want it to end so I remember packing to go home was a two-week (i'm not kidding) process.

Hindsight is always 20/20 and I can see now that moving in and out each year was necessary and good, as each year of college was better than the one before it.

And isn't that how change usually is? We hate it when it's happening, but are so thankful for it when we look back.

So, as I sit in my messy, un-organized and unpacked room, it's possible that I don't want to move back here because it means that college is over; it's possible that part of me hates the idea of getting a far away job in a few months and doing this again; it's possible that I'm overly sentimental and should never be left alone with 21 photo frames, a box of high school notes and Ingrid Michaelson on loop in an emotional post-grade state (ooops).

Whatever the reason is why I hate moving so much, I can rest in the fact that every move I've made so far has been a good one. Every year, every new dorm and every apartment brought with it new people, new memories, new joys, new ideas and new understandings of who I am.

So even though I legitimately believe that packing is of the devil, moving on is a good thing. Change keeps the world turning, and even though I don't always like it, I'm happy to be moving along with it.

Obvious song choice for today: The Travel Song

time keeps moving

even though I wish it wouldn't sometimes.

Yesterday, I finished my last fall semester of college and also had the last day of my internship. I was, and am, so excited to put a semesters worth of hard work and sometimes stressful moments behind me and move forward to spring semester. Where I'm getting caught up, you see, is that I'll move into spring semester naturally and without effort. It will, as always, fly by at an incredibly speed. The only difference is that it'll be my last semester as a college student.

I'm not sure that I know how to function outside of being a student. I throughly enjoy staying up-late, blaming a cookie and coffee diet on exam stress and having someone else pay my rent. I'm not sure how much that flies in the real world.

But in honesty, it's not really leaving college that scares me. It's a life of ordinary that I'm afraid of. Perhaps I just watch The Office too much or maybe I've been tainted by 9-5 job cliches, either way, I'm worried that my last semester of college will be the last time in my life where I am free from restrictions on how to live.

But maybe, the only lessons I'll ever learn aren't the ones in this bubble of a college town. Maybe, and hopefully, the rest of my life will be phases of life lessons -- a constant state of growing, moving, changing -- all for the better, all pointing me in the direction of who I will be. And maybe, that's the lesson in itself; things change, we change, circumstances never stay still, and once we accept that, we can start to learn from it.

I don't want to leave, but I'm looking forward to where I'm going.

On a completely unrelated note, Florence + The Machine's Cosmic Love is the greatest song to ever happen to my finals week playlist. Actually, the entire Lungs album is. Give yourself a Christmas present if you don't already have it.