And no, none of it has ever been backed up, as common sense would advise one to do so.
A few weeks ago, my computer started acting up - blue screening and all of that yucky stuff. It would randomly shut down and would take about 45 minutes of boot up time and 3 no-warning shut offs to even access the internet. I was lucky, if I could check my email before I left for the day [let alone try to blog... cue the two-and-a-half-week absence]. I knew my computer was on its final days and I knew that I had nothing backed up.
I called my wonderful and always supportive parents and explained my dilemma, they told me to not hesitate and to buy an external hard drive asap. But I did delay, I waited a few days. And I waited too long.
As you can gather, it crashed, I lost everything and have been completely heartbroken for the past week about it.
My parents were great, encouraging me that they know a computer guy who might be able to recover my stuff and I had a nice, shiny new computer in less than 24 hours after my old one crashed.
Again, I find myself in this place. The same place I was when I blogged two and a half months ago when my car died on me, hence the 'pt. 2,' part one. Living without, living where I've had great things and have had them taken from me. It's pretty dramatic to say about a computer, but looking past the material things like my pictures and music, I feel hopeless for finding a job. I don't have any work to prove that I know how to write. If finding a job was tough before, it just got 10 times tougher. Fantastic.
But, like last time, something has brought my perspective back to where it needs to be, and made me realize that a computer crash doesn't leave me living without. Not even a little bit. Last time this came in the form of watching the riots begin in Egypt. This time, it was going to a THON recognition reception for the year and hearing a Four Diamonds Family speak about their beautiful 5-year-old daughter who has lukemia.
Suddenly, a computer crash didn't matter so much. Suddenly, I found myself praying that my computer would continually crash if it meant never having a child who has cancer. A computer, a car, a ____ whatever of mine will break soon, is made by the world. It's from the world and for the world, and worldly things have no value. They have use, but not value. They have purpose for phases of our lives, but don't matter in the grand picture of our lives.
And through these lessons I am continually learning about the process of letting go of things of the world, the have no meaningful worth in my life. My faith, my family, my friends... now those are things worth fighting for, those are the things worth valuing.
"The world and its desires will pass away,
but those that do the will of God will live forever." 1 Jn. 2:17
So I'm slowly learning. I'm not there and probably won't be soon. But through these small but important life lessons I am trying to be a person who values the things in life that really matter, not laughable things like a hard drive, and itunes filled with music.
And so, dear friends, that is the story of why I haven't been blogging and the story of the last days of my precious computer. It's also the story of the birth of my new laptop [which is actually pretty amazing], a new iTunes filled with music, and a renewed perspective of what's important.
Please learn from my lessons, particularly from my mistakes in valuing material things more than I ought. If you can get it right, let me know how you did, and if you struggle like me, let's walk through this together.
On another note, it's APRIL. How on earth did that happen?! I have exactly one month and one week until I graduate! Ah!
Go out and enjoy the spring, and here's a little love. From me, to you.
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