Easter Flowers.

It's early in the morning, well 8:30 -- early for this college senior, and all I want to do is crawl into a ball and go back to bed. That isn't on the agenda today, I have an exam in the afternoon so I have my pandora on a dreamy station, a steamy cup of coffee by my side and my window open so I can hear the birds and feel the breeze. I want to go back to bed, but this way of studying is an equally good alternative.

I'm studying for my final final. You read it right, the last exam I will ever take as a student at Penn State. I'll fill my brain with knowledge of mass media history for the next few hours, only to take the exam and lose half of the names and dates I had known so well an hour before. I wish I could revel in this a little more, but I still have several assignments and projects to keep me busy for the next few days.

I want to try to process the last four years, but summarizing what has happened, who I've become, who I've met, triumphs and shortcomings along the way .. it seems way too daunting of a task to even think of, let alone squeeze into a short little blog post.

I can't really summarize 4 years. Which is good, because nobody is asking me to. But I can say a few things about my current state of mind: Easter Flowers.

Since getting my driver's license, it's always been my task to go out with my sisters the night before Easter and buy my mom and grandmom Easter flowers. It's simple, sweet and is always a guarantee to make them happy. Never, in a million years, can I imagine giving my mom Easter flowers and having her be disappointed or dissatisfied. That constancy is a good thing.

I fear leaving my carefree and happy days of college and being jaded by the world; working a job that's miserable for a bit to get my foot in the door (likely) or working an 8-5 job that leaves me unfulfilled and totally drained (more likely). My fear in this isn't those jobs or those feelings, it's in not finding joy in my "Easter flowers."

My Easter flowers are what I'm doing right now. Listening to good music, drinking coffee, writing and admiring the still clam streets of my home through my window. Whether I'm studying for a test, having a qt, applying for jobs or just taking a few moments to relax, I hope the things that make me happy now will always make me happy. I hope that I am never dissatisfied with a clam, cool morning, my caffeine and Pandora streaming.I don't think I ever will. I don't think I ever could.

Here are some of our Easter flowers from this weekend:

 

Okay. Tucker isn't a flower, but how look stinkin' cute he is

let me tell you about heaven...

I went home this past weekend for Easter and got to enjoy the always lovely company of friends and family. In keeping with our "every weekend we're all home" tradition, my closest friends from high school days, Heather, Christy, Phil and I went back and forth on deciding where we wanted to go out to eat, but of course decided on Carabbas, as always.

We went for their yummy dessert and drinks, and look at this spread!

The most divine tiramisu I've ever had in my life. 

One of the largest lattes I've ever had

Wine

Old friends

A night of laughs, reminiscing, friends and of course, wonderful food

reminded me why I love home so very much

thursday indulgences

It's a Thursday evening, we have one week of classes left, an episode of The Office and two episodes of The Real World to catch up on -- so clearly there was no other option than for my roommates Kendall and I to order our favorite guilty pleasure: wings over happy valley. Ordering wings on lazy weeknights with Kendall has become a senior year staple. We spend one part of the time talking about how much we can't wait for them to be delivered, one part of the time talking about how delicious they are and double the amount of both of those times talking and laughing about what a poor choice we made by ordering unhealthy food late at night.

Oh well, here's to college, right?

 

 

And most recently, when we're not catching up on our trash TV. We're singing our lungs out to this little gem. 

Happy Thursday, 

happy final week of being an undergrad, 

and happy ending times of living with friends

and eating terrible foods. 

Multi-media: Carina and her Guitar

I completed my first multi-media project for a photojournalism class I'm taking. It was a lot of fun to hang out with my dear friend Carina, the subject of this video, and hear about what her influences are, why she likes playing and how she tells she'll keep playing for "as long as my fingers can stand it."

it's a pizza pie

I love pizza, but not just regular sauce and cheese pizza, although I love that too, but homemade pizzas. You can buy a whole wheat pizza dough ball at the grocery store for 98 cents and get around 4 good sized - enough to feed two - pizzas out of them. They are the perfect meal for a college girl like me who dreams of eating more than spaghetti and ramen but still wants to stay on a student budget. Once you roll out your 25 cent pizza, you can top it with anything at all. Things from the farmer's market, or things that are freezer burned in the back of your 'fridge.

My favorite combinations currently are: 

carmalized onions and goat cheese

roma tomatoes, basil and chunks of fresh mozzarella

cherry tomatoes, olive slices, shredded parmesan and 
whatever dried herb I reach for first 

onions, zucchini and parmesan

and last night I made this delicious little thing.

 

 frozen spinach, grape tomatoes and feta.

1. buy pizza dough for around a quarter per meal 

2. put anything and everything on it 

3. cook it at 350 for 15-20 minutes 

4. actually have a good meal and make your mother proud. 

It's a win-win all around. Enjoy your new favorite quick, cheap and delicious dinner! Try it out and tell me what you like best on your homemade pizzas!

Goodmorning

Each Day, by Max Lucado

It's quiet. It's early. My coffee is hot. The sky is still black. The world is still asleep. The day is coming.

In a few moments, the day will arrive. It will roar down the track with the rising of the sun. The stillness of the dawn will be exchanged for the noise of the day. The calm of solitude will be replaced by the pounding of the human race. The refuge of the early morning will be invaded by decisions to be made and deadlines to be met. For the next twelve hours I will be exposed to the day's demands. It is now I must make a choice. Because of Calvary, I'm free to choose. And so I choose….

I CHOOSE LOVE…
No occasion justifies hatred; no injustice warrants bitterness. I choose love. Today I will love God and what God loves.

I CHOOSE JOY…
I will invite my God to be the God of circumstance. I will refuse the temptation to be cynical…the tool of the lazy thinker. I will refuse to see people as anything less than human beings, created by God. I will refuse to see any problem as anything less than an opportunity to see God.

I CHOOSE PEACE…
I will live forgiven. I will forgive so that I may live.

I CHOOSE PATIENCE…
I will overlook the inconveniences of the world. Instead of cursing the one who takes my place, I'll invite him to do so. Rather than complain that the wait is too long, I will thank God for a moment to pray. Instead of clenching my fist at new assignments, I will face them with joy and courage.

I CHOOSE KINDNESS…
I will be kind to the poor, for they are alone. I will be kind to the rich, for they are afraid. And kind to the unkind, for such is how God has treated me.

I CHOOSE GOODNESS…
I will go without a dollar before I take a dishonest one. I will be overlooked before I will boast. I will confess before I will accuse. I choose goodness.

I CHOOSE FAITHFULNESS…
Today I will keep my promises.
My debtors will not regret their trust. My associates will not question my word. My spouse will not question my love.

I CHOOSE GENTLENESS…
Nothing is won by force. I choose to be gentle. If I raise my voice, may it be only in praise. If I clench my fist, may it only be in prayer. If I make a demand, may it only be of myself.

I CHOOSE SELF CONTROL…
I am a spiritual being… After this body is dead, my spirit will soar. I refuse to let what will rot rule the eternal. I choose self-control. I will be drunk only by joy. I will be impassioned only by my faith. I will be influenced only by God. I will be taught only by Christ. I choose self-control.

Love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. To these I commit my day. If I succeed, I will give thanks. If I fail, I will seek His grace. And then, when this day is done, I will place my head on my pillow and rest.

heck yes.

I finally caved in and bought some at CVS today.

it's really happening

Love Me Some Love Songs

As I mentioned in my previous post, my roommate is getting married. So with a bridal shower, bridal magazines floating through the house, and talks of invitations and dresses and every other detail, it's safe to say that my apartment has been enamored with weddings for the past year few months.

I love love love music and know that picking out the complete soundtrack to my future wedding will be one of my favorite parts, but not everyone shares this feeling -- so, Janelle asked the roommates to help her find her first dance song. We gathered on our couches, with laptops in hand and played our favorites for her as she either rejected them or put them on a "potential" list.

It was so much fun to brainstorm with her and yell "awwww" in unison when one of the roommates picked a really sweet song. We played a lot of old ones, a few new ones and countless in-betweens. For the rest of the day and for the past few days, I can't get some of my favorite ones out of my head, so enjoy them below [please extend me grace for extremely cheesy youtube videos].

And yes, they did decide on a great song, but I'll let that be their secret.

What songs make you swoon?

Bridal Bliss

 

My dear friend and roommate, Janelle, and another good friend, Brett, are engaged. They tie the knot in exactly two months! Yesterday, our apartment held her beautiful beautiful bridal shower, thrown by her lovely maid-of-honor, who is also one of our roommates, Lauren. 

Almost everything has a touch of purple, and the food spread was to die  for. Another roommate (can you tell I just love my roommates?), Kendall, is amazing at baking and decorating cakes and cupcakes. Look at these beautiful little cakes, and yes, she made that white chocolate "B" (Janelle's future last name intial!) herself. She is just so talented I can't even handle it.

 

 

The decorations were simple and elegant - candles tied with purple ribbons and small and simple purple touches everywhere. 

 It was a lovely shower for our lovely bride to be. After all the guests left we finished the day watching a marathon of chick flicks including Bride Wars, Sex and the City 2, and Life as We know it. 

The perfect decorations, the perfect food, the perfect occasion, 

the perfect people, the perfect day.

I'll leave you with a song. I love this classic love song, it makes me tear-up almost every time I hear it. Half because it's sweet as can be, and half because it reminds me of the Notebook. Either way, you can bet it made an appearance on yesterday's bridal shower playlist.

living without, pt. 2

Okay, as promised an explanation for my extended absence. However first, some background. My laptop is my life. No, I'm not kidding, my life. It has tens of thousands photos going back to high school, countless articles needed for my professional portfolio from all four years as an undergrad, all my personal spread sheets, THON documents, receipts, passwords, everything! Not to mention, the real heart-wrenching part, all my beloved music. All of it.

And no, none of it has ever been backed up, as common sense would advise one to do so.

A few weeks ago, my computer started acting up - blue screening and all of that yucky stuff. It would randomly shut down and would take about 45 minutes of boot up time and 3 no-warning shut offs to even access the internet. I was lucky, if I could check my email before I left for the day [let alone try to blog... cue the two-and-a-half-week absence]. I knew my computer was on its final days and I knew that I had nothing backed up.

I called my wonderful and always supportive parents and explained my dilemma, they told me to not hesitate and to buy an external hard drive asap. But I did delay, I waited a few days. And I waited too long.

As you can gather, it crashed, I lost everything and have been completely heartbroken for the past week about it.

My parents were great, encouraging me that they know a computer guy who might be able to recover my stuff and I had a nice, shiny new computer in less than 24 hours after my old one crashed.

Again, I find myself in this place. The same place I was when I blogged two and a half months ago when my car died on me, hence the 'pt. 2,' part one. Living without, living where I've had great things and have had them taken from me. It's pretty dramatic to say about a computer, but looking past the material things like my pictures and music, I feel hopeless for finding a job. I don't have any work to prove that I know how to write. If finding a job was tough before, it just got 10 times tougher. Fantastic.

But, like last time, something has brought my perspective back to where it needs to be, and made me realize that a computer crash doesn't leave me living without. Not even a little bit. Last time this came in the form of watching the riots begin in Egypt. This time, it was going to a THON recognition reception for the year and hearing a Four Diamonds Family speak about their beautiful 5-year-old daughter who has lukemia.

Suddenly, a computer crash didn't matter so much. Suddenly, I found myself praying that my computer would continually crash if it meant never having a child who has cancer. A computer, a car, a ____ whatever of mine will break soon, is made by the world. It's from the world and for the world, and worldly things have no value. They have use, but not value. They have purpose for phases of our lives, but don't matter in the grand picture of our lives.

And through these lessons I am continually learning about the process of letting go of things of the world, the have no meaningful worth in my life. My faith, my family, my friends... now those are things worth fighting for, those are the things worth valuing.

"The world and its desires will pass away, 

but those that do the will of God will live forever." 1 Jn. 2:17

So I'm slowly learning. I'm not there and probably won't be soon. But through these small but important life lessons I am trying to be a person who values the things in life that really matter, not laughable things like a hard drive, and itunes filled with music.

And so, dear friends, that is the story of why I haven't been blogging and the story of the last days of my precious computer. It's also the story of the birth of my new laptop [which is actually pretty amazing], a new iTunes filled with music, and a renewed perspective of what's important.

Please learn from my lessons, particularly from my mistakes in valuing material things more than I ought. If you can get it right, let me know how you did, and if you struggle like me, let's walk through this together.

On another note, it's APRIL. How on earth did that happen?! I have exactly one month and one week until I graduate! Ah!

Go out and enjoy the spring, and here's a little love. From me, to you.

i'm back! well, tomorrow

I am so so terribly sorry for my lack of posting for the last couple of weeks. I'm prepared to write, in full, about life, love and the loss of my computer [and all of its thousands of contents] tomorrow. 

But for the night I'll leave you with:

1. This dreamy song to lull you to sleep

2. A photo of my biodegradable graduation cap and gown (minus me) that I finally bought. 

(yes, I could theoretically be buried in it) 

3. and this photo, to make you feel my love